black-bunny ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me and a bottle of red, red wine. Me and a bottle of red, red wine. Yes, Friday night is here. I am sealing this rather uneventful, but restful week with an uneventful but restful night. It is 8 p.m., still very light out, and I am enjoying a glass of red wine that DannyBoi s parents made. Lovely. In fact I ve just finished refreshing the colour in my hair. By refreshing I mean redoing. Let me tell you kiddies, redoing your hair, with Special Effects stuff (like Manic Panic, a punk hair dye brand) is no small feat. It s thick like toothpaste, and stains like nothing ever imagined. It was funny, as I was washing my hair in preparation, I simply could not believe the amount of colour that was washing out, still. The water was a solid pink. It was as if I had taken Barbie, her entire wardrobe and her gawd-forsaken convertible, put them all in a blender and then splattered it all over my tub. Pink everywhere. Crazy. Again, it must be said, Toronto was great. If you can manage, go to FunHaus on a Friday if you are inclined to the darker things in life (even if you aren t it still a great night to dance to stuff like Prodigy), and go on a Saturday if you are an 80s freak. DjBolt, you did a good, good thing. That place is spectacular. I had a good old fashion good weekend. Restored me somewhat. I ve missed that. I m hoping the wine will loosen me up a little. I feel like being chatty, but without the other person. I suppose that means introspective or something. Whatever. This Morn Omina - One eYed Man (kill the daemon) is truly an amazing song. If you want to know anything about me, get this song. This is what I would dance to, if played. Sure, I ll dance to Covenant, VNV Nation and other EBM, but this song this song I would dance and do other eh-hem things to. Man oh man, I AM chatty. Maybe I ll go out and get drunk on cheap beer tonight. Hi, the Dom called, they want their wanton slut back. Hee hee. Sometimes, I really, really love my life. You know what, I really fucking do. I ve been kinda down for about a year or so because, despite my best efforts, I haven t managed to get this whole mate-and-brood thing going. Sure, I ve had a number of long-term relationships in the last ten years (each lasting a few years), but nothing ever seemed stable enough. Nothing was sane enough for me to bring children into. Looking back now, I see and know the role I played in that instability. (Breaks to refill wine glass). Did I ever tell you that I m crazy? Yeh, I m tryin on crazy and seeing how it fits. This isn t some kind of self-deprecating remark or me being down on myself, it s actually kind of liberating. Without relieving myself of responsibility, I ve found a way to ease up on me. Don t worry too much, my dear. You re just crazy. You see, only people who are human and prone to mistakes can be crazy. Perfect people aren t crazy. And I don t want to be perfect. I just want to be me, the best me, and if that means that crazy is in the mix, so be it. Just so you know, I come from a pretty rough past. Now, I don t mean my dad was my pimp rough, I mean just your run-of-the-mill rough. I ve known folks who have had it better, and I ve known folks who have had it way, way, WAY worse. I m just your average poor white trash girl. However, thanks to my mother, who everyday told me I could do better, I ve managed to land myself a great job, (that I FUCKING love), have great, but very human, friends, and lived a life (since I left home) that I couldn t possibly regret. In other words, I ve got it good, so crazy is ok to bear. That s not to say that it s all good , it just that when I feel that I m at my worse, I can pull back for a minute and say relax, it s ok, it s not the end of the world . Holy crap, I must be loaded. *Looks at her wine glass* Eep! Congratulations, folks. You ve managed to catch the evolution (for lack of a better word, thank the gods for spellchecker) of me being drunk. I started this entry sober, now I m fucking hammered. I must be, my rabbit just ran and hid under the couch. Speaking of. The poor little bastard, he s been shedding like nobody s business. And it s not like he s an angora rabbit. He s wee and a short-hair. But he s got a major case of the fluffies right now. Spring wreaks havoc on many a creature at this time. (oh MAN, that song, Memories by NamNamBulu just came on Live365, life is fucking great!) It s 9 p.m., I ve refilled my glass for the third time, and I just sang, very loud, the lyrics to that song. My neighbors must hate me. Fuck em. Wow, I just realized that, right now, I am the epitome of sexy. I m sitting at my computer, with a shower cap on. Dead fucking sexy. Sorry, but I have to go. I have to go someplace loud, so that I can lose myself. Later! 9:33 p.m. - 2004-06-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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